I'm not sure where to start with this and rather than wait until I know exactly what my thoughts are here, I'm just going to start processing as I type. At the moment I should probably be studying, but I'd rather delve into some of this stuff.
Pain, crushing, fire, the crucible, being stuck between a rock and a hard place for way longer than you ever thought you could handle, sleeplessness, hopelessness, despair, depression, unalterable new realities, sickness, death and finally... HOPE...
It begins with suffering.
We are surrounded by it and touched by it more than we'd like to admit. Much to our dismay, the Bible is full of references to it. The world is flooded with it, despite our ostrich like attempts to bury our heads in the worthless sands of entertainment. As believers, what do we do with our pain? When we can't escape it where do we go? What do we do? Where is the purpose? If we have no control over when it will end how can we have courage to endure it?
I know from experience that there are seasons of suffering in life and that no matter how hard we try, we cannot rush ourselves out of those seasons. They often come unexpectedly and stay longer than we'd like. They can push us beyond natural limits into frightening places. Sometimes it seems that they push us right off the edge of the cliffs of our sanity and into a terrifying free fall of forced trust. We frantically grasp the empty air for the fingers of our unseen God and some semblance of comfort and stability as we find ourselves falling, falling, falling outside of our known reality and into a place that is clearly "off the page" of our world view.
I've been in a place like that, a place where my old identity was swallowed up in a darkness that seemed to know no bounds, a hopelessness that seemed to saturate my soul and seep into all caverns of my heart. My reference point for God's character and presence in my life simply melted beneath the cool chill of that despair and I was left with nothing familiar -- nothing to lean on. The old reality and confidence vaporized as all that I said I believe in was violently tested. The lights in my soul clicked off one by one until I was left with a sickening silence, a rush of darkness and the sound of nothing but thin cold whispers of truths that once warmed my heart. My heart dangled beyond the edge of life as I had understood it.
Suffering...
Plunging into new territories of the heart -- uncomfortable, even soul crushing, barren landscapes. But, when we enter into places where our hope is unseen, we begin to encounter real hope. "...hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?" Romans 8:25. Real hope, hope that doesn't disappoint, can only be forged in places where hope cannot be seen. In the desolate landscapes where we would never take ourselves, we are given gifts of immeasurable worth, gifts that can sustain and fortify in any season, gifts that endure until the realities of our hope are finally manifest and we see with our eyes what we've only seen with our souls.
Pain, crushing, fire, the crucible, being stuck between a rock and a hard place for way longer than you ever thought you could handle, sleeplessness, hopelessness, despair, depression, unalterable new realities, sickness, death and finally... HOPE...
It begins with suffering.
We are surrounded by it and touched by it more than we'd like to admit. Much to our dismay, the Bible is full of references to it. The world is flooded with it, despite our ostrich like attempts to bury our heads in the worthless sands of entertainment. As believers, what do we do with our pain? When we can't escape it where do we go? What do we do? Where is the purpose? If we have no control over when it will end how can we have courage to endure it?
I know from experience that there are seasons of suffering in life and that no matter how hard we try, we cannot rush ourselves out of those seasons. They often come unexpectedly and stay longer than we'd like. They can push us beyond natural limits into frightening places. Sometimes it seems that they push us right off the edge of the cliffs of our sanity and into a terrifying free fall of forced trust. We frantically grasp the empty air for the fingers of our unseen God and some semblance of comfort and stability as we find ourselves falling, falling, falling outside of our known reality and into a place that is clearly "off the page" of our world view.
I've been in a place like that, a place where my old identity was swallowed up in a darkness that seemed to know no bounds, a hopelessness that seemed to saturate my soul and seep into all caverns of my heart. My reference point for God's character and presence in my life simply melted beneath the cool chill of that despair and I was left with nothing familiar -- nothing to lean on. The old reality and confidence vaporized as all that I said I believe in was violently tested. The lights in my soul clicked off one by one until I was left with a sickening silence, a rush of darkness and the sound of nothing but thin cold whispers of truths that once warmed my heart. My heart dangled beyond the edge of life as I had understood it.
Suffering...
Plunging into new territories of the heart -- uncomfortable, even soul crushing, barren landscapes. But, when we enter into places where our hope is unseen, we begin to encounter real hope. "...hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees?" Romans 8:25. Real hope, hope that doesn't disappoint, can only be forged in places where hope cannot be seen. In the desolate landscapes where we would never take ourselves, we are given gifts of immeasurable worth, gifts that can sustain and fortify in any season, gifts that endure until the realities of our hope are finally manifest and we see with our eyes what we've only seen with our souls.
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