The Sword 2007

"The people who survive the sword will find favor in the desert; I will come to give rest to Israel."

Jeremiah 31:2

The sword can take many different forms in our lives.

About 12 years ago Barry and I began to spend time together. I was extremely guarded and very hesitant to consider marriage. The idea of marriage did not feel safe to me and I used to tell myself that marriage was for weak people to somehow rationalize the fact that I was way too scared to face the idea. After about 2 years of just being "friends" with Barry, people started asking us if we were going to get married. That totally freaked me out and I began to seriously pray and seek God to find out what He thought about that idea.

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The Lord told me that marriage was not for weak people, on the contrary he said, "marriage is a sword." He also said, "if you want to be in ministry, get married. If you want to learn how to deny yourself, get married." I know that's not a word for everyone, but I took that as a loving rebuke from my Heavenly Father and not too long after that I agreed to marry this man who had become my best friend. I had no idea what this sword would require, but I did know that after much prayer I felt the Lord had called me to marry.

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Our wedding day was wonderful and full of happy memories. We had an outdoor wedding and a monarch butterfly flew up the aisle ahead of me. It was really neat and I knew the Lord was affirming me and reminding me that he was doing a new thing and that it was good. At the ceremony Barry and I shared our first kiss and I'll never forget the feeling--it was amazing. It felt like someone dipped me backwards into an ocean of black, velvety weightlessness. Wow!

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For those of us who are married we know that after the pretty ceremony the the marriage itself can be tough. Tough is actually a gross understatement sometimes. Rick Joyner has said that when he gives premarital counseling he tells folks that marriage will kill them. He reminds them that God's intent and purpose is for our flesh to die and that marriage is a great means for bringing that about. That's pretty solid advice if you ask me.

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The sword theme arose again about 5 years ago when Holly Etchison sent our family a Christmas card. Inside the card was written, "And a sword will pierce your own soul too (Luke 2:35)." There's that word again! Holly has a strong prophetic gifting, so I took the handmade card very seriously. Later that year Jesus laid bare some unresolved issues and there was some severe pain involved. It really felt like a sword had pierced my soul.

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About a month ago the "sword" we dealt with then resurfaced and we are dealing with it again. Both of us are more mature and better able to handle it this time around. I really think that the difficulty I've experienced on a personal level this year (health issues, etc.) has served to prepare me for this. My thresh hold for pain (both emotional and physical) has increased throughout the year, which is now serving me well. The Lord has reopened the wounds, but this time I believe he is giving us grace to keep them open so that they can be allowed the time they need to finally heal.

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Just a couple of weeks ago, the Lord brought this scripture to my attention: "The people who survive the sword will find favor in the desert..." He immediately reminded me that before I wed he had told me that marriage was a sword. I knew he was connecting this scripture with the word he'd spoken to me years ago. That really encouraged me just to see the continuity of the Lord's hand in my life. I knew He was still doing a good work and would finish it, despite the pain and the time that had elapsed.

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Barry and I are both exited to see what the Lord is going to do as he heals and restores. I realize that you never feel more alive than when you feel like your almost beaten to death with some of life's blows! That might not make any sense, but with the constant emotional pain we're dealing with life has taken on a much more vivid quality. Facing issues rather than sweeping them under the carpet has a way of reinvigorating you! The battle that we're in has never been more real to me and it's never felt like such an epic battle. It's almost like a veil has been lifted and I can just see the battle for the souls of men unfolding before my very eyes as the strategies of the enemy are being laid bare even in our own marriage. It's very sobering, but also grants a renewed will to fight.

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I heard a great teaching by Beth Moore last night that fits in so well with this. She spoke of the difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. I realized that for the first 10 years of my marriage I'd been a peacekeeper and not a peacemaker. Out of ignorance I'd just coped with the underlying pain that things just weren't quite right. I never sought to confront it and I never made any waves, I just silently endured the subtle torment that something was not right for the sake of keeping the peace. In reality, there was no real peace (in this particular area.) I was guarding a counterfeit peace because I feared confrontation. I trust the Lord's timing with all of this and am now able to glean from those mistakes.

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Real peace is not accompanied by any undercurrent of fear or paralysis. Real peace requires that we face our messes head on and take action to make peace by aggressively and tenaciously bringing all things under the rule of Christ. In my marriage we're learning how vital it is to do this as a team. Up until now, this issue was far to volatile to attack as a united front. (We usually spent our bullets on each other rather than fighting our real enemy.) But, God in His amazing mercy has done a wonderful work to enable Barry and I to confront the battle with unity. I really feel like we're an unstoppable force in Him, because love has taken the lead and we're going to follow until we reach victory and regain the territory that's rightfully ours.

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The Lord reframed a wonderful truth for me a few weeks back. I was praying for a friend who is considering marriage and the Lord showed me a picture of 2 people holding hands and walking through life together. He reminded me of the simplicity of marriage. It's a covenant promise to walk together through life and a commitment to fight on one another's behalf through all the battles that are faced. Obviously this doesn't work if both parties are not yoked with Christ, but, if both husband and wife are committed to Christ, then there's no possible way to fail--provided that you both agree not to give up. If you'll stick it our for the longhaul, despite the pain and battle scars, you will eventually reach victory and it'll be worth every bit of the battle it took to get there. Even when the battle is tough and one or the other gets bogged down in the mire you keep holding hands and you work together to get unstuck and keep to the path that Jesus sets before you. Sure it's messy and tough, but you can't help but make progress on the journey as you each give all you've got to see Christ formed in the other.

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Back to the concept of peace... When you or your spouse are caught up in the mire, there ain't no peace! Action must be taken to get "unstuck" and regain that peace. I had always thought that peace went hand in hand with ease and quietness. I'm learning now that peace (a.k.a. getting unstuck from miry conditions) comes at a cost, sometimes a violent cost. There's a definite battle raging for the authority in our hearts and minds. Will we allow Christ and his standards to rule, or will we choose to live our own way doing what seems right in our own minds? Peacemaking requires that we allow the Lord to wield the sword violently in order to cut off our selfishness (self-rule) so that we can make room for Christ's rule. Making peace requires taking action and that's what we're working on now.

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It's a lot of work at present and sometimes the residual pain and devastation from the enemy's old rule feels like too much to bear, but we are becoming peacemakers and groundtakers. We're fighting as one to gain the real peace and rule of Christ instead of passively enduring the enemy's counterfeit. Jesus has come "to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the path of peace (Luke 1:79)."

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I count it a great honor to fight my husband's battles with him and to have him fight with me in mine. I'm learning so much about sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Paul said, "I endure all things for the sake of the elect." My prayer is that we as the body of Christ would be willing to suffer any loss in order to gain Christ and see Him formed in the hearts of our brothers and sisters.